graduation is saturday and i don't even have a dress yet

it's crazy that it's almost over. really, life is just starting, but finishing school feels very surreal at the moment. i finished my finals and all my papers, and i have a couple days of calm before the storm. family is coming in for my grad this weekend, and it feels so strange. when my parents asked when it was so they could come, i thought it was strange they would want to come. not cause my parents are jerks. just cause this doesn't feel like it's that important. that sounds bad, because i know it is. maybe when the day comes it will make more sense. this year has been a constant whirlwind. the constant routine of school, work, and sleep feels so comfortable now. it seems normal. but it's not. i can't wait to give more time to my wife and baby girl. i have missed them so much.

now comes the fun part of looking for a job. i had a chance to go to vernon, bc. i had to turn it down, though, because it didn't feel right. the church and people there were awesome. they were so gracious to me in my awkward interview. i just felt like my heart wasn't in that place and it wouldn't be fair to them for me to go there and not have my heart there. now, i am stuck with tim horton's/pizza or something of that variety. maybe construction. maybe directing traffic. maybe directing movies. probably not that last one. i don't know. there are so many jobs out there, but i just happen to want to do something that doesn't hire so much...i guess it's my job to adapt to my situation and not give up on my dreams. i want to work with youth and i would love to do innercity ministry. mostly a combination of both would be the best case scenario. my dreams are big and seem so far down the road, that at this point, what I want to do feels hopeless. i know it's not because i believe God is taking me there. but i can't see the end of the tunnel yet, and it's frustrating. insert spiritual insight here...

anyhow, i am excited to do an earth day gridblog, so join in if you want. the idea is for all of us to write a blog on or around sunday about our view of the earth and what our responsibility is as Christians to take care of it. mostly, take it any direction you want. anyone is welcome to join. much love to those i love, and to those i don't love, well, sorry...i don't love you.