first rule: we don't talk about fight club

first of all, a shout out to my bro ham, 2 minute mark. it was his birthday this past sunday and i think he turned 45 or something like that. congrats and keep rocking like your 28.

i watched fight club this weekend. it's an interesting movie, and i'm not here to recommend it or take it down a notch. i thought it was okay. there's some stuff i don't like, and some stuff that i think was really cool about it. anyway, that's besides the point because there's a line that stuck in my head.

the main character, edward norton, is an insomniac. the way he cures his insomnia is hilarious, i think. he starts going to support groups. and not support groups for insomniacs. he goes to support groups for tuberculosis, infectious diseases, cancer, etc... you name it, he has a support group for it. he goes to these support groups, and in each one, at some point they pair off and hug, cry, sob and hold eachother for support and comfort. this is what he loves to do. he gets it all off his chest and cries and weeps and sobs for as long as he needs to. then he goes home and sleeps like a baby.

at one point, he is talking to some girl who knows what he's doing and she asks him why he does what he does. his answer made me a little uncomfortable.

he said...
"i like going to these places because when people think that your dying, it's the only time they'll really listen to you. every other time, they're just waiting for their turn to speak."

i know it's just a movie, and i know i am probably taking this way too seriously. but i think it's true. yeah, there are some gifted people out there who really know how to listen to other people. i don't, though. most of the time, i am just waiting for my turn to speak. i am the center of my own world, and everyone else is just background noise. i'll nod my head and pretend like i care, but i really don't. sometimes i do, but rarely. unless it is someone i am very, very close to, it is really difficult for me to get my head out of my butt and pay attention to something other than myself. does anyone else struggle with this? we live in a very individualistic society where everything is about me and what I want. we are taught to be consumers and buy the things that will benefit me and make our individual lives comfortable. this has infected our, or at least my, thought and speech in very real ways.

this bleeds into our churches, as well. we all bring our own individual lives to church each sunday and rarely let others in. we become concerned with what we can get out of service, not with what we can give. for a long time, i didn't go to church, because i kept telling myself that i didn't get anything out of it. but what if we could all learn to truly listen? just listen to eachother? i guess the reason this hit me so hard is because although it was just a movie, i want our churches to be a place where we truly listen to the needs and hurts and desires and frustration of people everywhere. that statement shouldn't be true, yet i think it is. when people are dying shouldn't be the only time we will listen to them.

i don't know where this rant is going. i don't have a big point to make. i guess i just think if we all became more concerned with the community, not just our churches but our town and cities and countries, more people would feel listened to. i think that would be good.

i am so not eloquent today. i'll try again tomorrow. look for my deep thoughts about "dumb and dumber" coming soon...