vanilla ice and snoop dogg...who would have thought the two would mix so beautifully?

walking to soccer was maybe not the best decision i had made. it was cold outside, and not a good idea before i had to be limber and ready to move in about 20 minutes time. i was playing goalie, because vega broke some sort of limb the other week, and now i'm stuck with the embarrassment of letting in too many goals. it's okay, though. he deserves a break. it's not his fault, you see, it's just that our team is no good. i mean, they are fine people, just no good at soccer. myself included. i can take on the teams humiliation for a few weeks. we are 0 wins and 9 losses on the season, so my feeling as i walked was not one of excitement, but one of expectation. expectation of a loss.

i put my headphones on as i walked out the door and began listening to a sermon on becoming a peacemaker. it seemed kind of strange. i was used to listening to some MEANS, as i lay dying or at the very least, some Justin Timberlake to get me pumped up before a game. but i was in a wierd mood so i walked on listening to my sermon. he began with quoting a tonne of statistics about wealth and consumerism in north america compared to the rest of the world. the statistics quoted were making me angry. the rich are getting richer while the poor are dying. most people would say the poor were just getting poorer, but lets be honest, they're mostly dying. the US government spends the same amount on their military budget every year that the next 18 countries behind them on the list do combined. these rolled on and on, and were leaving a bitter and angry taste in my mouth. i know i'm just a chump from canada, and he was talking about the US of A, but it felt very close to home.

as the statistics rattled off in my brain, i looked up to see the huge brightly lit billboard outside of the exhibition grounds that advertised the snoop dogg and concert being held that night. i turned off my mp3 player for a moment, and sure enough, i could hear the bass pounding through the cold air. as i got closer, you could feel the bass in your chest, and i kind of wanted to stick around and check things out. no time, though. didn't want to be late for soccer. acts like snoop dogg don't make it to regina all that often, so you could sense the excitement. whatever. i don't really like rap music anyway, i was just intrigued by the happenings around me. i walked through the crowded parking lot where people were shouting, smoking some things, drinking and having a good time. before i knew it, i was at the soccer center, with only a couple minutes to spare. i'll save you the suspense. i let in 7 goals and we lost 7-2. not my most brilliant moment to be sure. i was going to get a ride from someone, but then i remembered the concert and the people in the parking lot and decided it would be more exciting to walk home instead.

i bundled up and put my sermon back on. a minute out the door and someone in a car asked to use my phone. i said sure and stood outside waiting and watching, listening to some guy talk about the state of the world and how christians needed to respond. i turned it off so i could hear when they were done with my phone, and heard vanilla ice coming loudly out the car speakers. it put a smile on my face after a somewhat disappointing night. i mentioned it was kind of funny that they were listening to that at a snoop dogg concert. they thought so, too. i walked away with my headphones on, and just a little happier than before. a little 'ice, ice baby' can cheer you up on the worst of days. the sermon shifted gears a little bit. it went from despair to hope. examples of people from his church going to iraq to help them rebuild their cities. examples of aid workers and all sorts of american people doing amazing things around the world in the name of Jesus. the point of the statistics he had listed was to help his american friends to maybe get a glimpse into the rest of the world's lives, and to maybe see for just a second why they might hate america the way they did. it wasn't to be negative. it got me thinking about how negative i am about most things. government, organized religion, my dog peeing on my carpet, and things like that. i realized i have a mean streak that takes control of me, and although i want to be, i am the furthest thing from a peacemaker on most days.

i looked around at the faces of the people i walked by. some were sad, others excited, some visibly a little off balance from alcohol/drugs/who knows what, some were angry, some yelling, and many were heading home from the concert. but as i looked at each face, i had an epiphany. and i don't know if that's the right word, because i knew it before this happened, but this is one of the few times in my life that it became real to me. God desperately loves these people. He loves them with all His heart. it's not often that i'm that open to other people, and i don't know what it was that brought me there. maybe it was the sermon i had listened to. maybe it was the cold night air that cleared my head. maybe it was getting my butt whooped in soccer. maybe it was just the beauty of the moment. i don't know. but i'll never forget that moment. God loves me the same way He loves snoop dogg, the same way He loves the staggering drunk that had just gotten kicked out, the same way He loves the prostitute down the street, the same way He loves the beaten down and oppressed, the same way He loves george bush...the list doesn't end. something so simple, and yet so beautiful. something so hidden, yet so right in front of us. and a second realization came to me. i loved these people too. i loved them all, even george bush, who i sometimes make a habit of condemning on a daily basis. love. it was something so simple, but so huge at the same time.

i wish i could say it lasted. i got home, and felt the same way for my wife and child. but the next morning i woke up after too little sleep and had mostly forgotten the experience. i don't feel the same way today that i did that day about all those people. i just don't. i would like to. but i have lost that feeling. but that's okay, i guess. love isn't supposed to be a feeling. it would be nice if you could always have that feeling as an assurance of your love, but love doens't work that way. it's an action, or a 'verb' as AVB would say. it's something we have to choose to do everyday. i'll look at that moment with clarity as one of the few times i have gotten a glimpse into the love of God. it won't happen everyday, and it might not make any sense to anyone else reading this. maybe you had to be there. but it has inspired me to try and look at each persons face just a little bit longer and see the face of God in there. it's harder with some people than others. but i know he's in there somewhere. i just have to see. just wanted to share with you guys.