cut off blue jeans are coming back in style

i went to tobin lake this past weekend with pa and sis roberts.

the fish were scarce, and by scarce, i mean there were none. i decided that the marina we rented the boat from had rigged the fish finder to say there was fish when really there was none so we wouldn't return the boat. cause we saw them everywhere, but didn't get a bite. i'm going to get the government to look into this. it is one of the most pressing issues of our time. marina fish finder scams. you heard the breaking news here first.

we stayed in a little cabin out of the way, ate good food and had lots of laughs. i beat joy in the alphabet game on the drive up. you know the one, where you start at A and try to find letters on signs until the first person gets to Z. it was a close game, but as luck would have it, i saw the chevy trailblaZer before she did. she did beat me at cribbage later in the weekend, but i say the alphabet game takes way more skill and fortitude. cribbage is for losers anyway. i had some lofty goals leaving for the weekend. it was a chance to get in touch with God, with nature, with dumb fish that wouldn't bite my line, and with my dad and sister. that was probably the best part, just chilling with them. i see them lots, but never get much of a chance to hang longer than an hour. so it was nice to connect with them. i wish my other loser family members would have come. losers. i'm just bitter cause you were at home in your fancy schmancy homes, while i was on the lake for 12 hours in the pouring rain dancing the jig trying to get fish to jump in the boat. strongbad steered me so far off course. but it was beautiful. it cleared my head and gave me a bit of focus which i have been in dire need of these past few weeks. i feel as if i have been running around like a chicken with something cut off of his body. i forget how the analogy works. i needed to breathe. to be calm. steady.

the craziness of life is something i have grown accustomed to. running everywhere, prioritizing between friends, work, and family, usually getting it wrong. i realized this weekend i don't want to be accustomed to craziness. i want to slow down. i am missing so much of life simply because i am telling myself i am too busy with all these things. but the reality is, i am making a choice to be pulled in that many directions. my goal with fresh eyes today is to start living in the moment. rather than thinking ahead to tomorrow or the week after, i want to live for today. more than that, i want to live for this moment. right now. i want to be fully immersed in what i'm doing where i'm doing it. that could get a little awkward going to the bathroom, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. literally. i think that not living in the moment is a major problem amongst christians. we miss out on God's Kingdom right in front of our eyes often because we fail to see what is right in front of us. many of us spend our time looking backward, seeing past failures, past highs, and dreaming of what could have been. i call it the 'if only...' effect. really, we can accomplish nothing by doing this, we just like to live in nostalgia because it's safe there. we already know the outcome. or we go the other way and live in the future. this is what's happening down the road and once i get there things will be better. once i accomplish this or that goal, then my life will be fulfilled. my problem is i spend so much time looking for that next high in life that i screw up the things right in my path, thus preventing me from reaching my goal. the past is for wussies. the future is for wimps. i want to be strong. i want to be now. here is what matters. joe strummer, a musician, once said something to the effect that the most important thing for an artist is to be relevant to his/her time. maybe the most important thing for a christian is to be fully immersed in the moment. and i don't mean relevant to our time like, 'cut off blue jeans are really in fashion right now, so i'm going to wear those.' i mean living in the moment and seeing what is really going on around you. not living in the past. not looking to the future. here. now. wish me luck.