back in some shade of black...more like purple or a dark mahogany

where to begin.
much has happened in my time away. most of you know the details, but for those that don't, here you go.

i finished school, worked several jobs, struggled in my walk with God, and ate some good food. that pretty much sums up most of my life up to this point. but now that we are at this point, let me point out that the point of what i'm trying to say is that things are different at this point in my life. point taken?

i'm a youth pastor now. minister? preacher? baptizer? i don't really know what the proper term is. but i've been hired on by my home congregation of Glen Elm Church of Christ to take care of the kids in our Church and community. it's an amazing opportunity and i am thrilled that they have decided to take a chance on me. i don't really know what it means to be a pastor. i mean, i picture preachers and pastors as innocent and pure, kind of like the lamb that Jesus always holds in those paintings of gentle Jesus that make us feel warm and fuzzy. but that's not me. and that's not reality anyway. just some warped picture i have in my mind of what a pastor is supposed to look like. maybe it's because jason is so warm and cuddly. so i've been told. i am the same guy i was last week, month and year. that is both good and bad. mostly bad. good because i think i have some fresh ideas for how this job can be done. bad because i'm kind of a schmuck. win-lose. again, mostly lose.

i don't want to just be another youth pastor. to be honest, i look at most youth ministry that's going on and want to gag. most youth ministries are based more around the anxiety of adults than they are on the needs of children. look at me, talking like i have a clue...that is a gross over-generalization, but i don't care because this is my blog. so often we tell kids what we think they need to hear but take little time to listen. i want to do more than just provide activities that keep kids out of trouble. i want to do more than just be mr. cool to all the kids. you know the one. that guy who drives the cool car, with the cool hair cut and is hip on all the lingo. i may be hip on all the lingo, but i don't have a cool haircut, and i don't consider grand ams that cool. i don't really know what i'm trying to say. i just want this to mean something. i want it to be about the kids. i want them to feel valued, safe, and respected and like they matter to the church, not that we are just trying to reign them in. that's why i'm excited about being here. this won't be just another youth ministry because glen elm is more than just another church. they love their kids as much as i do, and i have high hopes and dreams for the future.

all that babble is to say i'm glad to be back. and i'm excited about life for the first time in ages. thank you God for second chances and giving clowns like me the chance to work in your kingdom. amen to that sista.