why i'm voting green party

there was a time in my life where i agreed with the Liberal point of view of the world. that time came and went as Jean Chretien left, and i began to see the Liberal party as corruptible and power hungry. even after i felt that way, i still voted for them, because there was a time in my life where i would do anything to keep the Conservatives out of power, even if it meant voting for a party i was disillusioned with. that time has come and gone. there was a time in my life where i voted NDP (provincially) because their ideals lined up more with mine. but as i saw, regardless of who holds the power, corruption is the name of the game in politics. so that time has come and gone. and while it might seem like the Green Party is all that's left, and that's why i'm voting for them, you are wrong. after all, there's still Bloc Quebecois...

i am voting for the Green Party because I believe in the things they believe in. people often think of the Green Party as tree hugging hippies, and nothing more, but the reality is that there is much more to them than this. while the environment and doing what we can to save it is obviously a big part of their mission, they hold some other important principles close to their heart that i believe strongly in.

i don't have a great desire to get into specific policies of the Green Party, although i would love to sit down and talk to anyone who would be willing to listen. but i'll tell you what i do like about them. they believe that the ideals they hold can become reality. most would call members of the G.P. idealists and pie in the sky dreamers. after all, saving the environment? that's way to big! ending violence and war in the world? not a chance! economic equality for the poor? like that'll ever happen! those are the responses most people would give. maybe not quite as cynical sounding as i was, but generally people do not believe these things are realities. but whatever happened to shooting for the stars? i think we have become content with a government that does nothing. we have grown accustomed to government breaking their promises, so when we hear a promise, or a dream for something better, it's easy to say 'yeah right!' i do most of the time. but i'm tired of that. i'm tired of settling for less than the best. i believe we as a society are so much better than our government makes us out to be. i believe that with all my heart. and i don't think the Green Party will answer all of today's woes and save the world. but i do think it is incumbent upon us as citizens of this country to vote with our hearts, and not just our minds. it's time to actually live that great quote, and stop asking what our country can do for us, but what we can do for our country. the Green Party to me is the only party that is attempting to do this, make the world a genuinely safer and more wonderful place. you can deny the possibilities all you want, but i'm tired of settling for less than the best our government has to offer. i'm sick and tired of feeling like we are in this endless cycle of destruction, and the stereotypical partisan responses to each crisis. it's time to start doing the right thing, rather than depending on someone else.

it might be a very miniscule step in the grand scheme of things, but it is one i'm taking, and i thought i should tell you why.

lily

yesterday marked the end of a tumultuous 2 year relationship with lily. lily was our boston terrier. it was very much a love/hate relationship, mostly love, but when the hate came, it was vicious...she was a beautiful dog, in her own ugly sort of way. she loved to cuddle, loved to lick, loved to defecate on the floor when we didn't pay enough attention to her. but we loved her. she was a sweet dog. she loved makena, and recently she loved bella. makena regularly jumped on her, twisted her legs, pulled her hair, pushed her off the couch...etc...but lily just wagged her tail and ran back for another round of abuse. she would snuggle up next to bella while she slept on the bed and lick her hand whenever she got close enough. she loved to beat the snot out of hudson (our boxer). hudson would mostly tolerate her as she jumped on him, bit his neck, forced him to play when he didn't want to, and slept on top of him, literally on his back. hudson loved her, but not in a deep and intimate way. more in the way an uncle loves his bratty nephew/niece. you kind of have to tolerate them even though they drive you nuts, and you love them because they are family, but if you could choose your family, you wouldn't have chosen that one. ya, that is a good description of how hudson loved her. he wouldn't have picked her out of the other dogs at the petland window, but he loved her because she was his family. she was our family. and we miss her desperately today. but we know we did the right thing. we didn't have time for her. we got too frustrated with her. and she'll have a better life now. we gave her to a retired lady who will spend all day cuddling her, and she even has another boxer named AXL to keep her company. so we know she is in good hands. it would have been selfish of us to keep her. but it doesn't take away this feeling in the pit of my stomach. this hole i feel in my heart.

thanks for the memories, lily. you were a good dog. you were loved.

so hardcore it hurts

it's been a hard couple of weeks. while it might seem stupid to state something like that on a public blog and not explain further why it has been hard, i really don't care. deal with it. i've been feeling very unsettled lately. not with work or home life. just with life in general. i feel like the things that have always held me up aren't quite doing the trick anymore. there used to be this passion inside of me that pushed me. it pushed me out of my comfort zone and into things that are unknown. and without fail, i always saw the benefit of pushing myself forward like that. it's like there was this flame in my soul, and now it's been blown out. i have to figure out whether i can get it going again or whether it's gone, and not really as important as i thought it was. but i do believe it was important. i can't really describe the fire to you. part of me knows it was God. in fact, i would say it was wholly God inside of me pushing me to be better and be who i was made to be. but it manifested itself in smaller ways, like through my music, relationships, meal times with friends, etc...it wasn't like i always saw God stirring up this fire within me. but he worked through me and the things i encountered to change me, make me something better. and now i feel like i'm not growing. i miss being pushed into the unknown. it used to be the norm, and now it is the seldom. it seems like people around me are falling apart and i don't know what to do with that. there was a time when i felt like i always knew what to say and what to do. and i don't have that anymore. in fact, i usually just sit silently. and think. my own world. it's consuming me. silence can be deafening because the noise isn't there to drown out the worries and pressure. and i think it's a necessary part of my growth. but i'm tired of it. i'm tired of always wanting more.

one thing i miss is coffee with friends who would push me. i used to have daily or weekly lunches with friends where the talk was about more than the last football game or what we are doing on the weekend. those talks meant everything to me. we pushed each other, stretched each other, gave our lives to each other. and now i feel like we got tired of being pushed and are content to talk about football and things that don't matter. i'm content and unhappy at the same time. i'm content because i'm comfortable, but i'm unhappy because i'm the same person today that i was yesterday. and i know i can be better. i know it. i just don't remember how. i've got to find that fire that defined me once so well.

maybe the answer is more tattoos.

the best we can hope for

"the best we can hope for in this situation is a little grace."
-From the movie "Away From Her"

my brother mark is one of the most fantastic men i have ever met.

he is giving, honest & lives with integrity. he has a servant heart, is a loyal friend, a dedicated worker, a strong father and a very loving husband. he is a courageous man, a man of honor, a man worthy of respect, a humble man, a man who i look up to. he is a man filled with grace and compassion for those he knows and does not know.

my brother mark is everything i want to be in life. i am honored to be his friend and family. if you don't know mark, you should make an effort to get to know him. if you do, i'm sure you know what i mean. if you know him and haven't talked to him in a while, take a chance to re-connect with him. who he is will make you a better person.

just thought that needed to be said.

chris schultz article from tsn.ca

Energy is an interesting thing and it comes in many forms. Sometimes it's visual, sometimes it's auditory. It's a feeling you give and take when you are among a group of people, let's say 30,000, it's addictive and motivating.

The studio where we (Dave Randorf, Jock Climie, Matt Dunigan and I) do the CFL on TSN studio show is perfect, the technology is the best that money can buy and it's easy to concentrate. The studio is about the size of half a hockey rink and is worth millions. If you want to watch a football game it is the best place to be as everything is a button or request away.

The only thing it doesn't have is energy. There are no people screaming your name and no deafening applause. It's just not the same as being there.

Sunday's Labour Day game between the Bombers and Riders was an experience to be a part of. In the studio, you know exactly what is going on - how many yards Charles Roberts has, how many completions Michael Bishops has thrown - but when you are on the sidelines with the studio show, it's tough to follow. Although you can estimate this and that, you can't recognize trends or patterns but you do get to feel the energy.

Wes Cates runs a sweep in your direction, Kelly Malveaux comes up to make a crunching tackle and you can feel it, you can hear it, it's almost as if you are part of it.

One half of the stadium screams "GO" and the other half screams "RIDERS" back and forth, over and over.

The energy flies through the air all across the field, again and again and again.

On the sideline, you also get to watch the interaction between the players and coaches. Ten different conversations are happening at the same time, then silence as an opponent makes a big play and quiet overwhelms the bench. The players look to the field to see what happened and the silence remains but a few seconds later, it's over and bang, it starts again. Everyone is talking once more, sometimes yelling, sometimes complaining, and sometimes criticizing. Coaches scream at players on the field with the players barley able to hear.

"Call a timeout," somebody yells.

"Not yet," a coach yells back. "Just run the play, we're running out of time!"

Its pure energy and you can feel it.

Thirty-thousand Rider fans all dressed in green, very loud because of a big play and then dead silent because the opponent made a big play. Up and down, back and forth again and again and again.

I am often asked what I miss about not playing football anymore, truth is there are many things I miss, a few things I don't, but next time I am asked that question I'll have an answer. I miss the Energy.

I can't grab it or see it but on Sunday at Mosaic Stadium I could feel it. From my feet up to the top of my head and through my entire body, I could feel the energy.

Thank-you Roughrider football fans for showing up in force and treating all of us on the CFL on TSN panel so well. You yelled at us, stared at us, waved to us and made us feel like we played for the Riders ourselves.

Are you the best CFL football fans in Canada, with no disrespect to any other fans in any other cities, yes you are.

I could not walk 10-yards without someone screaming my name to get my attention and I loved it.

You made me feel like I was 22 again and like I was a player, not just someone who talks about the real players.

I don't know many places you can feel the emotion you feel at a football stadium. If I could find it I would go there tomorrow just to be a part of it, the sounds, the sights, the feel.

Pure energy.