and here we go...

i'm excited about this guy. 6'4, 222 lbs, strong wide reciever. he was supposed to be a first round NFL draft pick this year, but was busted on a pot charge, so no one picked him up. i'm glad tillman found him and decided to take a chance. who doesn't deserve a second chance? who hasn't been busted on a pot charge and missed a chance to go in the 1st round of the NFL draft? we have all been there. no, just kidding. seriously, though, this guy looks deadly. i really hope he works out. i'm pumped to see what this year has in store for the riders.

cut off blue jeans are coming back in style

i went to tobin lake this past weekend with pa and sis roberts.

the fish were scarce, and by scarce, i mean there were none. i decided that the marina we rented the boat from had rigged the fish finder to say there was fish when really there was none so we wouldn't return the boat. cause we saw them everywhere, but didn't get a bite. i'm going to get the government to look into this. it is one of the most pressing issues of our time. marina fish finder scams. you heard the breaking news here first.

we stayed in a little cabin out of the way, ate good food and had lots of laughs. i beat joy in the alphabet game on the drive up. you know the one, where you start at A and try to find letters on signs until the first person gets to Z. it was a close game, but as luck would have it, i saw the chevy trailblaZer before she did. she did beat me at cribbage later in the weekend, but i say the alphabet game takes way more skill and fortitude. cribbage is for losers anyway. i had some lofty goals leaving for the weekend. it was a chance to get in touch with God, with nature, with dumb fish that wouldn't bite my line, and with my dad and sister. that was probably the best part, just chilling with them. i see them lots, but never get much of a chance to hang longer than an hour. so it was nice to connect with them. i wish my other loser family members would have come. losers. i'm just bitter cause you were at home in your fancy schmancy homes, while i was on the lake for 12 hours in the pouring rain dancing the jig trying to get fish to jump in the boat. strongbad steered me so far off course. but it was beautiful. it cleared my head and gave me a bit of focus which i have been in dire need of these past few weeks. i feel as if i have been running around like a chicken with something cut off of his body. i forget how the analogy works. i needed to breathe. to be calm. steady.

the craziness of life is something i have grown accustomed to. running everywhere, prioritizing between friends, work, and family, usually getting it wrong. i realized this weekend i don't want to be accustomed to craziness. i want to slow down. i am missing so much of life simply because i am telling myself i am too busy with all these things. but the reality is, i am making a choice to be pulled in that many directions. my goal with fresh eyes today is to start living in the moment. rather than thinking ahead to tomorrow or the week after, i want to live for today. more than that, i want to live for this moment. right now. i want to be fully immersed in what i'm doing where i'm doing it. that could get a little awkward going to the bathroom, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. literally. i think that not living in the moment is a major problem amongst christians. we miss out on God's Kingdom right in front of our eyes often because we fail to see what is right in front of us. many of us spend our time looking backward, seeing past failures, past highs, and dreaming of what could have been. i call it the 'if only...' effect. really, we can accomplish nothing by doing this, we just like to live in nostalgia because it's safe there. we already know the outcome. or we go the other way and live in the future. this is what's happening down the road and once i get there things will be better. once i accomplish this or that goal, then my life will be fulfilled. my problem is i spend so much time looking for that next high in life that i screw up the things right in my path, thus preventing me from reaching my goal. the past is for wussies. the future is for wimps. i want to be strong. i want to be now. here is what matters. joe strummer, a musician, once said something to the effect that the most important thing for an artist is to be relevant to his/her time. maybe the most important thing for a christian is to be fully immersed in the moment. and i don't mean relevant to our time like, 'cut off blue jeans are really in fashion right now, so i'm going to wear those.' i mean living in the moment and seeing what is really going on around you. not living in the past. not looking to the future. here. now. wish me luck.

sesame street

i come before you today full of inspiration. and i'm not even being sarcastic like i usually am. there is something about today that is beautiful, and something about today that gives me hope. there is something about tomorrow that is exciting, and something about yesterday that doesn't matter. there is something about this moment that i'm in right now. i can't explain it. i don't even want to. i just want to hold on, but the moment i hold on too tight i will lose it. so i'll just relax and let it happen.

this is far from the usual circumstance for me. i am hard to please on the best of days. just ask my wife. take my wife, please. how did that joke become funny? but for some reason i feel this new sense of wonder at everything around me. i am aware for the first time in a while of my surroundings. i have found that when i am unaware of what is going on around me, it is impossible to stay content. and i don't mean aware, like, aware of the current issues facing us in the world today. i mean really aware. seeing with eyes that look below the surface. i think Jesus talked about that somewhere at some point. i'm a pastor, i should know, but i don't want to take the time to look it up. looking at a flower and seeing it for what it is. one of the most beautiful things this earth has to offer. i don't care if that sounds gay or hippy. you can call me both if you want. watching the grass over the past few weeks has caught my attention. something about it going from lifeless, dead, and brown to long and luscious green is just beautiful (until i have to pull out the lawnmower and step in dog poo). someone i know told me the other day they want to be baptized. i have never really been all for the the baptisms. not that i am anti-baptism, just that sometimes i am so cynical it is hard for me to get into the hymn singing and hand holding. but i went to one the other week, and it got me hungry. it got me hungry to see people know God. in a real way. not in the way i have pretended for most of my life. so my friend is getting baptized in a couple weeks, and i can't wait for the rest of her life. i am anxious to see her not waste away like i have for so long. life is beautiful. that's all there is to it. the problem with someone in my state of mind is that you can argue with me all you want, and i don't care. cause today is what today is, and neither my positivity nor the negativity i will probably have again tomorrow will change the world. the only thing that will change the world is seeing. really seeing. deeper than the surface.

this program was brought to you today by the sentence 'none of that made sense' and the number 3.

oh i wish all sports announcers were this clever

scratch my back with a hacksaw, here is mike lange.

sorry, something much more substantial will come soon. tomorrow.

apparently we are all idiots

apparently, wearing blue jeans is an important news story.
apparently, it means obama is just a regular joe like us.
apparently, i'm going to go throw up now.

since when did this crap constitute a breaking news story? i like barack obama, but shame on the press for making a big deal out of such petty issues, or lack-of-an-issue.

in this moment

its 5 am on sunday morning and i'm up with my beautiful baby girl. maybe at some point we'll have to let her cry herself to sleep, but for now, her deep shaking cry is too much for me to handle. so i will rock her and hold her and gaze at her new and beautiful face. and as i pick her up, her cry slowly subsides because she knows everything will be alright, cause her daddy's got her. and in this moment i feel entirely at peace with the world. and i know nothing can take that away. i dare someone or something to try. because the sounds of war, the newscasts, the negative, the heart wrenching, head pounding strife in the world is drowned out by the sound of my daughter's gentle breath. i know i will wake up later today and the pain in this world will flow back in. but right now, this is my moment, this is a God-breathed moment. this is life at its finest. nothing can be more perfect than this.

the dream is over

it was fun while it lasted. there's always next year.